“I don’t think I could have done this trip a year ago. I had no idea how to relax, especially when away from you guys. It’s been so healthy for me. Thank you.”

I sent this message to Jason on the last day of a long birthday weekend spent along the Riviera Maya with my birthday co-conspirator, Liz.

This year marked the 20th anniversary of our Elizabash tradition whereby we celebrate one another within the two days between our mutual birthdays. So, when I won a couple of free nights at a resort in Mayakoba outside Cancun, I could think of no better way to spend it than on February’s Elizabash festivities.

I have been on several beach weekends in the past, but there was something unique about the timing of this one:

1. We had finally reached a point in our family where the kids didn’t completely fall apart when I traveled, something I experienced for the first time in September on a weeklong work trip to Morocco.
2. Through both therapy and writing classes, I had found an internal balance that extended to my external values and priorities, resulting in much less overall daily anxiety.
3. I had a better sense of who I was, and I no longer apologized for it. I had finally given myself the permission to just be me.

All this — plus the addition of the most perfect traveling companion in Liz — made this particular beach vacation the first one I have ever fully embraced and truly appreciated.

Our cadence was simple:

• Roll out of bed before 8am.
• Strategically take advantage of the complimentary breakfast quesadillas, cochinita pibil, salsas, fresh fruit, green juice, and iced Americanos available to us.
• Ride one of the resort’s bicycles through the mangroves to the beach.
• Relax at the beach as long as humanly possible, napping in the shade, walking on the wet sand, wading into the ocean, reading books, talking about life, and drinking a steady stream of coconut water and piña coladas.
• Pause for an afternoon activity like a chocolate and mezcal tasting or a snorkeling excursion in the nearby reef.
• Continue with more beaching or move to the swimming pool and hot tub as the sun set.
• Freshen up in our room to an epic Chappell Roan playlist.
• Head out to dinner, either at the beach side seafood and Mexican restaurants or down the street at the Michelin starred establishment located within a nearby all-inclusive resort.
• Crawl into bed and fall asleep to episodes of Ghosts.

Rinse and repeat.

Never in my life have I been able to stay at a beach for six hours straight without fidgeting or worrying… About other things I should be doing instead, about how my family is doing without me, or feeling awkward in my own skin.

Those hurdles did not haunt me this time. Instead, we relished in the ease of doing nothing. Of being without responsibilities or agenda, in an absolutely beautiful place so far removed from our snowy homes. Of experiencing satisfaction, peace, and full nights of uninterrupted sleep without remorse. Of being comfortable in our bodies–with all their battle scars and births–after a lifetime of being told we shouldn’t.

It was the best gift we could have given ourselves for our birthday in our last year of our 30s.

I could talk forever about the trials and triumphs Elizabeth and I have experienced together over the years, but I would rather focus on the new memories we made during this trip… Like swimming with a giant school of blue tang fish, unearthing a giant conch shell, holding a starfish and sea urchin in our hands, tasting our first (of many) mezcalitas, leaning into our mutual seafood obsession in every ceviche, tostada, and taco we ordered, discovering the deliciousness of Mexican wine, savoring our first Michelin starred dinner experience (and it being hands down one of the most exceptional meals of our lives), searching for shells to bring home to our kids, and basking in the kind of seamless and engaging conversation that only comes with 20 years of friendship.

These two mamas needed this.

It took a lot of work to get here. But I went into our weekend excited to notice more, to feel more, and to let the beauty of the ocean fully overtake me. The ocean indeed found me in Mexico, and my soul gladly surfed its waves and felt its freedom and peace settle in comfortably.

A text to another good friend upon my return says it all: “It’s sad that it’s taken me nearly 40 years to learn how to relax, but I’m grateful it’s now rather than never.”

Now is the perfect time.

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Piña Colada Popsicles

These popsicles are a family favorite, especially in the summertime. And given how many piña coladas Elizabeth and I drank in Mayakoba during Elizabash weekend, it felt fitting to finally share it. (In the meantime, we are in the process of perfecting our own cochinita pibil recipe and cannot wait to share it once it’s ready.)

Ingredients

• 1 – 13.5 oz. can coconut milk
• 1/2 c. pineapple juice
• 3 Tbs. sugar
• 1/2 c. fresh pineapple, diced

Instructions

1. In a medium bowl, whisk the coconut milk, pineapple juice, and sugar until well combined.
2. Place diced pineapple into prepared popsicle molds, filling 3/4 of the way.
3. Carefully pour liquid mixture over pineapple until molds are full.
4. Freeze six to eight hours, or overnight, until frozen.
5. Remove from molds and enjoy!